But I am not this girl any more.
But at times this is the girl I still see in my head. The girl who struggled to look nice in anything. And rarely felt comfortable. The girl who would eat. And not enjoy. The girl who could not keep up with her daughter in a race. The girl who hated exercise and forced herself to move cause she had to. And found lots of ways to avoid it. The girl who pretended to be happy but was pretty sad inside.
No. I am not that girl anymore. This is the girl I am now.
I may not be where I want to be ... but I love where I am for now!
I feel cute when I get dressed up. I'm even wearing sleeveless clothes again! I'm taking care of me! (pedicure anyone?)
When I get out there and get moving I love it! I feel free and strong. I'm trying new things. Which is scarey for me but I am DOING it.
I am so much healthier. I can breathe. My asthma is so much better!
I'm not uncomfortable just being. I can move my body with ease. And I am happy. I wasn't happy before but I am SO happy!
Problem is - somedays my brain forgets I am a new person. I feel fat. Till I talk to myself and remind myself how much better I am looking. My brain tells me I hate exercise. And that I don't want to go. I have to talk myself into it and remind myself I am a RUNNER now. And an exerciser for life! I still go to the big girl clothes. And then get suprised when nothing fits! I sometimes think I want bad food. Then when I taste it I realise I don't even LIKE that food anymore.
So how do I reprogram my brain? How do I get my mind to see the person I am now ? How do I stop getting shocked at how much I have changed when I try on a smaller size or catch my reflection in the glass?
I want my thoughts of me to match the ME that I am. How do I do it??
Any ideas???
Kath,
ReplyDeleteIt's a time factor thing. You have to think that years of talking to yourself (the old you) set your programming.
Now it's the same. You just have to keep talking to yourself to program in the new you.
Everyday stand in the mirror or just tell yourself how great you are!
Your life will become the norm, and you will see others that resemble the old you, and you will realise that your no longer talking to yourself that way anymore.
It will just be second nature, not a concious choice.
You are inspirational and your speaking from the heart helps to encourage others to take the courage 2 start!
Well done on all your accommplishments!