Saturday, July 30, 2011

Getting organised and simplifying

One thing we all love about 12wbt is Mish's recipes! Having a menu planned and shopping list ready is awesome. It's a key factor to the program's success.

This round though, it hasn't been working so well for me. My husband is coeliac so we require gluten free meals. I need quantities for 3 ... Not two. And i seem to have developed asthma symptoms any time i eat bacon or ham. Very annoying.

Not following the menus though has caused me grief. I am not organised, so i am not getting success. It is time for me to take back control.

So i am spending some time getting organised and simplifying.

I am typing the recipes that work for us into an ipad recipe app. It lets me choose our recipes for the week, the number of serves and creates my shopping list.

I can add our favourites, and create our weekly mish approved meals in a flash!

Control back. Now let's get this eating under control!

Time for success!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Friday, July 29, 2011

Any questions??

Planning a question and answer post later this week.

I have a few questions that have been asked in the blog comments.

Any other questions? About 12wbt or my journey?

Just leave a comment here or on the Facebook page .... I'll do my best!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Extraordinary me! The journey continues

This round has been tough. Weight loss it's a fail. But despite what life has thrown at me I've achieved some pretty big things. I'm stronger and tougher emotionally and physically. I'm still here and I'm still a fighter.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Looking forward to spring

Already i see a hint of longer days.

I cannot wait for spring.

The thing i miss during summer is to be able to have a quick run in the afternoon when my husband gets home ... It just fits into my day so well.

I can see spring teasing me ... But we still have august to go.

Right now im hanging on the promise of spring

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Maybe a giveaway soon?

Do you follow courage2start on facebook? There are now 192 of you following
this there!

(btw - I have stopped facebook dumping blog updates on mass onto your pages like it has this week. Sorry about that. I really do not try to spam!)

And this blog now has 95 followers!

What an awesome journey this has been!!

I'm in a good good mood today!

How bout if we get to 200 facebook followers AND 100 blog followers this week I might have a little giveaway??

What do you think?

Today is a day to be strong

Group power.
Increased my weight in back and legs.
Awesome track. Lots of bodyweight work. Tricep track BURNS.
I'm still shaking from the lunges.

You know it's been a good session when you are not sure if you have enough let in the tank at the end to put your weights away.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Speedwork, intervals and duck walking!!

Today was great!
I think it made such a difference the other day to admit how i have struggled this round, and then decide no more. To draw that line in the sand, to post it publically and be accountable. My head is in a completely different space.

Today started again at 0530 with the rush to get ready for an early shift at work. Then the sprint against time, pick up miss 6 from school and off to gecko kids!

While miss 6 was having a ball at geckos ( rowing, bikes, planks, burpees, and big dice soccer!) I hit the treadmills. I had a promise to keep.

The amazing and genorous rell from Frichot Fitness has been helping me "via twitter" with my runninh. Yep, i have a fair dinkum virtual running coach and more support than I ever imagined! It is so wonderful to have her support.

Rell has written me running programs in the past. And here is the honest truth. I have sort of stuck to them, slacked off, and then panicked for 3 weeks when i realised a fun run was looming and i had limited time to get the miles on my legs!!

My new program helps me reach my BHAG! (big hairy audacious goal!). One fun run a month for 12 months!! Ive come to the realisation, that if i want to do one run a month, i can't be in a panic for 3 of those weeks each month because i slacked off with my training. So i have a radical plan. Train! Stick to the program!

Todays plan was speedwork. Now, i am the queen of sloooooow. I do not do speed. It terrifies me. But i promised rell i would so i did. On the treadmill, 1 k jog then 200m intervals at 11 with recovery in between. Well guess what? I found 11 doable!! So i did them at 11.5! It felt amazng to trust her ... And smash it!!

10min hard on the xtrainer added to the workout ... 350 cal burned during the 40 minutes of gecko kids!! Awesome!!

I also faced my long term pilates fear. I have to admit, i feel taller. We worked with resistance bands which gave some amazing stretches. Perfect for poor runner's hamstrings.

(although i have to be convinced at the duck walking! With resistance bands tied tight around our ankles and in squat position!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

In just 40 min...

Today i had no time spare.

I tried to make step class but got there late.
I had 40min left spare so hit the cardio gear.

My head was in a good place. It was time to train,

15min x trainer,maintaining intervals between 12 and 14
1k hard on the rower.
15min on the treadmill, running intervals between 8.5 and 11
5min treadmill walking , on incline of 6.

Hard. Fast. Heartrate up and 400 calories burned.

I drew a line this week.
Im not going back.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Today was a wonderful day!!

It had to be good didn't it? I had a little sleep in and it wasn't COLD!!!

Yesterday i drew that line in the sand .. So i knew i had to train.
After school drop off and a little bit of pottering, i got changed and hit the road. First run post being sick. I was a little worried.

But it felt great. No, it wasn't easy ... But it felt amazing to move again!

4k. The first two felt awesome. The last 500m hurt. But it was so worth it.

I even have the beetroot face to prove it!!

In the afternoon i followed it up with cardio and weights while miss e did gecko kids ... And finally zumba!! My shimmy is still broken but it makes me smile!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Makes my heart sing!

Strawberries are back in season!!
I had an entire punnet for afternoon tea ... Only 80 cal!!

Filled with sweetness, antioxidants and vitamin c!

Bring on Berry season!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

To all the mum's ... I am giving you permission

Dear mums.

I know you are out there ...

I know there are those of you who WANT to be fitter, stronger, healthier.

I know some of you WANT to walk more often, go to a class, try a new active hobby, lose weight, run ...

But then the BUTS come in.

I get it. Trust me.
I'm a mum, of a very active child. Hardly a day passes when we don't go SOMEWHERE after school for some activity or another.
I'm a wife.

I work.
And soon I may be studying again.

I volunteer.

And help at school.

Like anyone we budget our time and our money.

I get the "buts". But I can't afford it. Hubby/son/daughter won't eat that. I'm just sooo tired. I can't afford a gym. I'd be embarrassed. I have no one to go with.

I do get it. I've used them all.

But you know what? Eventually you have to give yourself permission.

You have to decide that even though you will continue to honour your husband and your children ... you need time for you.

Yes it costs money ... so does fast food and convenience food.

Actually let's be blunter than that.

Yes it costs money ... but so does chronic illness, diabetes, long term health care, aged care, and disability care.

Yes it costs time

But some things are worth the sacrifice.

Can you get up earlier? Workout during kids swim lessons? Cycle to the shops? Involve the kids?

Share babysitting with a friend? Or workout at night when the kids are in bed?

Yes - your partner/husband/kids may not like the change. They may not like the food. (but i bet they will if you pick the meals you serve them!)They won't go hungry. It's easy and cheap to give them a larger serving and add rice, pasta, potato etc as per their needs.

And they may not like you having time to yourself.

But guess what mums?? You DESERVE IT!

Sometimes you need someone to give you permission. It is ok to spend some money on your own health, to eat food that nurtures you, to train, to look after you.

And by doing this you will be a MUCH better mother, wife , daughter and friend than you ever could imagine!

Think of the gift you are giving your family! A happy healthy wife. A mum who is INVOLVEDi in their lives! Your health. Energy. And an example to your kids that this is the NORMAL way to live!!!

Yes - I had to give myself permission. When I joined I had to give myself permission to take time and money for me.

I promise you, ask my man and my girl. One of the best things I ever did.

This is why I do this...

So I'm fit enough to run, kick, play and swing.

No more parenting from the sidelines :)

Walking, balancing

Swingtime ... Weeeeeeeeee!!!!


Happy puppy too.

I hope your Sunday was just as much fun xxx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I am ready.

Excuses over.
Thinking over.
Analysis over.

It is time to start moving toward my destiny.

This week I commit to allowing ME to be the best me I can.

This week I am going to nail my nutrition.
Drink less caffeine and more water (always a struggle in winter)

And I am going to train.

My plan is to mix up the training a little, and start to rediscover what I love.

And to be flexible. If things change they change. But at least I'll be moving forward to being the woman I want to be.

The plan:
Sunday (today) - a long walk. Test out how my body is responding after being sick, and nourish my soul.
Monday - slow run. 3-4k. Taking it easy and listening to my body.
plus zumba tomorrow night. Something just for fun.
Tuesday - Tap class. (basicaly this is my rest day)
Wednesday - Cardio at the gym. Plus maybe pilates.
Thursday - Group Power (like pump) plus zumba
Friday - Run and pilates - interval work
Saturday - Outdoor session - strength and cardio
Sunday -Long slow run

Achievable. Fun. Varied.
Destiny here I come.

(Picture from Pure Nourishment)

Good bye brain. It's time to train ...

What is it in training that I had back then ... that I am missing now.

Why is it that a few short months ago I couldn't wait to train ... and now I've hit struggle street?

Why is my heart and mind not in it?

And what do I need to do to get that fight back?

I've been doing some thinking. Actually, I haven't stopped thinking since the "Stand your Ground" workshop.

There is something about that girl that gets in my head and keeps digging away at me until I take time to really pull it apart and find what it means to me.

Do you know what I've come to realise??

I've let me stinking brain get in the way of doing what I love.

That's it. Simple.

Instead of training, I've thought about training. I've thought about why I can't. Why I'm busy. Why other stuff needs to happen first.

I've thought about why my training isn't good enough. That I should be doing more. That my technique isn't strong enough. My core is too weak. That others are doing more than me.

I've thought about my running. That I should be doing it without music. Going faster. Doing more hills. Running further.

I've thought that I should be doing more weights. Doing more classes. Doing less classes. Doing more body weight work. Attending more Brisbane events. Starting events close to home.

I've thought and thought and compared until it wasn't fun anymore.

Ask anyone. Ask my mum. Ask my husband. I'm an overthinker from way back. I will take a problem and have to talk it over a million times, first in my head, and then with those around until I've done that problem to death.

Instead I need to not think. Just do.

Michelle calls this analysis by paralysis. How true is this. All this time worrying when should have been training.

Emma from Emazon says it is letting yourself be ruled by your brain, not your mind. By your blue self with all the hurts and worries of the world, instead of your heart, soul, mind ... your true red self.

So I'm over the thinking. I know what I have to do. I have to train.

Six days a week I train. And one day a week I MUST rest. My body needs that too.

This time - I am training, not thinking. If it isn't perfect, if I change things around, if it is more or less than someone else ... I train. It doesn't matter. Train. Find what my heart wants to do. Get into that sacred space. And train.

Training gets results. Thinking ... bah ... thinking causes trouble.

The line has been drawn.

I am training. I am going to do the things I love - the things that make me feel free.

I know they won't be perfect. I don't really care. I want to feel strong and I will.

Training to be free.

Drawng that line ...

I've come a long way baby.

This woman is no longer. I can't even imagine being her anymore.

She is so far from where I am that I KNOW I cannot and will not go back.

I've had several days lately that my body has forced me to rest.

To let it recover
(stupid cold )
It has driven me bonkers. I just want to move.

For that I am grateful.

But do you know, I don't think right now I am this woman either.

Today I am not the woman who feels awesome and confident and happy with how she looks.

I have had many many excuses this round. Most of them valid (some maybe not!).
This round I haven't been able to hit the goals I set. I haven't lost the weight I've aimed for ... and I haven't maintained the strength I had.

Right now today I am not the woman I was on this day. I doubt I would have the physical strength right now to do advanced , nor the confidence to dive into the mud and just do it.

And you know what happened??
I got complacent.

Yes - I have had big external excuses this round. I've had illness, family worries, death, stress ... life has tested me for sure.

And I HAVE kept running. I DID run Gold Coast. I HAVEN'T gone back to were I was.

But I did get complacent.
I didn't keep challenging myself.
I did allow junk back into my diet.
I didn't watch my portion sizes.
I dropped my PT sessions - and I miss them.
I have gone out for coffee ... and let it lead to cake too many times.

I got complacent. I relaxed. I decided I would fix it when those external stressors went ... and 8 weeks on .. I still haven't fixed things.

Even with the world falling apart there are things I could have done. I am not going to cry poor me and say it's not my fault.
I am also not going to take all the blame on me either and fall into a screaming heap.

This isn't about beating myself up. This is about stopping. Drawing a line in the sand, and saying enough is enough. Things are going to change.

Today is that day.

I know what to do to become that woman again. I know how to make the change. And I know how to fix it.
And starting today I will.

The line has been drawn.
This is not about being skinny, or fitting into size 10 jeans.
This is about being the me I want to be.
I want to be strong.
I want to feel good.
I want to take on the world ... and I know I will.

I'm drawing the line. The journey starts again.
Watch this space. Big things are about to happen

I've come a long way baby.

This woman is no longer. I can't even imagine being her anymore.

I've had several days lately that my body has forced me to rest.

To let it recover

(stupid cold )

It has driven me bonkers. I just want to move.

Friday, July 15, 2011

What I've learned ...

I'ts been an interesting two weeks about here. Some of the stories you know. Some of it you don't. Some of it doesn't really matter.

But I've learned some lessons, because there is stuff there I want to remember.

Firstly - good stuff happens. Amazing stuff. Stuff that makes you smile all day long. Despite the tough times I want to remember that. I want to remember how I felt two weeks ago at Gold Coast (was it really only two weeks ago? It feels like a lifetime). There are times in life when you win. When you conquer old demons. When you feel like you have an army of supporters behind you ... and a whole new world in front of you. And although things are tough at times ... those good times WILL come back. Sometimes you just need to remember that.

And then you have bad times. Times when people pass away. Times when you see those you respect struggle. Times when loved ones end a long battle with illness and you watch those left behind ache and hurt for so many different reasons,and in so many different ways.

You have weeks like the ones we've just had. When your whole family is sick, but life just has to go on. You have hell week. Or two. Or more.

But even amongst the struggles ... there is a lesson in that.

(Photo courtesy Pure Nourishment - check them out! They are awesome!

Tough times don't last. One day the ache will fade. Our family is still there. We love each other. We come through for each other. Tough times don't last.

And I am strong. Stronger than I ever imagined. Physically strong. And capable. When I have needed physical strength - it came through. I always doubted that before. But I am physically strong.

I can be emotionally strong. Yes I cry. I cry easily. Buckets at times. And that is ok. We cry for a reason. Inbuilt pressure guage. Helps with stress levels!

But I have learned that when someone else needs me to be strong - to hold it together so they can fall apart if needed I can be strong. I can be mentally strong. Physically strong. Emotionally strong.

I learned it from my mum. Toughest woman I know.

Tough times don't last. They will end. #Hellweek has to stop one day.

But tough people - they will shine through. Good things are coming.

As one of my favourite bible verses puts it ... " In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33

We ARE going to have trouble. Even the bible guarantees it! Everyone you see, no matter how perfect their life looks has trouble. But God has overcome. It's in the bible. Check the ending. We know who wins.

But right now - tough times don't last. Tough people do. 12wbt is helping me learn just how tough I am. Ready for some sunshine though ... ok?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Green smoothie time!!

100 caloriea. Packed full of vitamins. And makes enough for me to have for morning tea and afternoon tea.

You just have to trust me!

Take a bowl of fruit, a tray of ice, and a sppon of flaxseed. Sometimes i add fish oil, chia seeds ... Just depends on my mood and what have on hand. Just make sure you check the calories of the fruit you put in. Oh ... And frozen bananas are just like icecream!

Blend. We have a vitamix. It has POWER. No lumpy bits in my smoothies!!! Yum!!!!

If miss 6 has guests over i often stop here ... Kids love pink smoothie!

But for me i add about two handfuls of greens. Spinach today.
Trust me. Im drinking one now. I can taste berrie, i can taste pineapple. I cannot taste the greens at all!!

Packed full of goodness and vitamins. I have some now... Some later in the day. And if any is left we freeze them in iceblock moulds. Smoothie iceblocks! Yum!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bridge to Brisbane anyone?? How about FREE LJ?!

Hi guys!

Race #2 in my 12 fun run in 12 months challeng is of course the BRIDGE TO BRISBANE!

Well - I just got an email that made me REGISTER TODAY!

If you know me you know I LOVE my LornaJane! Especially the inspiration singlets!

They keep me motivated. Love it.

If you enter the LORNA JANE BRIDGE TO BRISBANE team you get a FREE inspiration singlet!! AND a chance to win a $500 wardrobe (which of course I will be winning!)

Entries to Bridge to Brissy are limited this year so SIGN UP!

And post let me know! I want to look out for you in the sea of thousands!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

How spoilt am I?

It's been a rough couple of weeks and now I'm sick. Been pretty miserable today.

Till a sweet friend dropped over this gorgeous pampering gift to cheer me up!


Louise ... You are a blessing!

Thank you!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Shock! Horror! I'm not in gym gear!

It's been a good long while since there has been a photo of me not in gym clothes!

That would be because apart from work uniforms ... it's pretty much all I've been wearing lately!

I'm still not finished ths journey. I don't want to buy a huge wardrobe until I am where I want to be.

But this week I didn't have a choice. I had to go somewhere where Lorna Jane just isn't appropriate!

This round might not have been one of big wins to me. I might not have made big weight loss or fitness changes.

But ... I've come a long way.

Taking time to reflect and be proud of what I've done so far.

Monday, July 11, 2011

My blog ... My soapbox...

There is a story behind this post.

But right now, it's not my story to tell.

But i can still stand up on my soapbox and get my message across.

When was your last cpr update. If it's over 12 mths , or you havent done one, honour me, and honour this man by booking into one today, and letting me know in the comments you have.

I don't care how many times you have done it. I dont care if you think you aren't cut out to do that. I dont care if you think you know cpr like the back of your hand.

Be current.

So if you are called on to use it, no matter what the result, you will have no regrets.

And in one years time, if this blog is still being read, i will remind you again.

It matters.

It's official ... And announcing my big big plan

It's time.

I finally found a massive goal I am excited about!

I have a plan.

You see, the thing I love about fun runs is they keep me honest. When my training slacks off, and I realize there is a run I have entered coming up ... It forces me to get back on track. To get up and go out and train.

My next challenge is locked in. Brisbane running festival. 10k. In august.

And it leads to my big big big challenge.

Something that excites me. Something I can't wait to try.

12 funruns in one year. One a month.
Culminating in a half in July next year at the gold coast.

I have some fun events planned.
February and April are still a mystery. We may need to travel. Suggestions are welcome.

But finally a big big goal that has me excited!!

Ready to get moving and get it done!!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Finally sense amongst the chaos.

As I process Saturday, and all it involved I think I finally have worked out why I have struggled this round.

It's a story - I'm sorry. Grab a cuppa and settle in.

Rd three of 12wbt last year was awesome. No one knew who I was. I was anonymous. I did what I had to do and got great results. I was on top of the world.

Then between rd three (which ended in December) and rd one this year we had quite the break. I found it so empowering. I had to work it out for myself. Apply Mish's lessons. I had twitter and facebook support, but it was all about me. That was when I really felt I began to shine. I started to blog. I put my heart on a plate. I lost a further 5kg. I challenged my brain to be quiet and let me run. I became a runner. I felt on top of the world.

It was truly, and simply all about me.

Round 1 this year came about. I had success, but not the success I dreamed of. I lost weight, I ran, I blogged ... but my heart wasn't there. Something wasn't right.

And then I went to Melbourne. People recognised me (crazy hey! I'm just a country town girl who writes a bit!). They called me an inspiration. But I felt like a fraud. I had let my intensity drop off. I wasn't getting the results others were. I wasn't hitting the goals they were. I wasn't an inspiration in my mind. In the middle of the party I just wanted to slink away.
I will forever be grateful for Donna, Lisa, Rell, Lynda, Leander ... oh so many of you ... those of you who DIDN'T let me slink away. You welcomed me with opened arms and I got through that party because of you.

I pushed my way through advanced. But honestly - I still felt like a fraud. I didn't feel good enough. My pushups were too weak. My core wasn't strong enough. I slowed people down.

No where in my head was I truly thinking "YOU did advanced and you didn't die! YOU ARE AWESOME". All I could see was what my brain was putting in my head. I was seeing the faults and the way I had let you down. I wasn't being the inspiration I was told I was and I felt like I had failed.

Bring on round two.

Anyone who knows me knows I have struggled and fought this round.
My head hasn't been there.
The world has thrown curve balls at me over and over again.
I said I couldn't set goals.
I was mad at myself because I couldn't make myself dream big enough.

Now I get it.
I wasn't setting goals for me ... goals that made me feel alive and free.
I was trying to set other people's goals.

Pushups on toes ? Great goal - I'll get there ... but in my heart it means nothing to me right now.
Chinups unassisted - yes one day I will rock that. But why did I set it as a goal for now? I have no motivation or desire right now to achieve that. I just thought I should set it cause it was an awesome goal for others so maybe it was right for me.

Those who have been through an emazon course will understand that it was the blue me thinking these things. I let my perceived expectations of my 12wbt family, friends, online buddies, my pt, colour MY GOALS.
I was thinking with my blue self. Too much with my brain. I wasn't letting my heart and soul set goals that made me free!

And that is why I have struggled. My goals, my plan, the walk I am taking - has not been for my true self. It has been for where I percieve others will see me as a success.

If my goals *for now* aren't as big as others.. why does it matter.
As long as I am getting fitter, and stronger and healthier and feeling FREE, coming closer to my true self ... then I am on the road I should be.

So with four weeks to go this round I am going to stop and pause for a while.
I've been thinking and I finally think I know what the real ME inside wants to do.

I'm going to reset my goals, forget about the numbers, and put in place the actions that come closest to bringing me joy and freedom!

I'll blog about it later today.

It's not big. It's not intense. It's easy in fact.

I think I've worked it out. There are two things the real me wants.

Inspiring or not? I don't really care. These are for me. Goals that make me smile.

Bringing the real me through

Your training place is a sacred space

Take home from emazon ... #1

On saturday these words resounded with me. "your training space is a sacred place". We were told it is the one place in the world where we can truly be our true self. Where we can be us, let it all out, the only place without consequences.

When i heard those words i knew there was a message in that just for me.

To begin with ... it made me sad. I wanted a place like that. Not my gym. It serves a purpose but it doesn't feel that way to me. I felt I needed to create a physical space. A training place.

But as the thoughts have unfolded, and I've spoken to others, the realisation has dawned.

That training place, that sacred space, does not need to be a boxing gym, a gym, a dojang, a park, a physically defined area.

That training place - that sacred place, is us. It is the state of mind we create, before we even commence our training. When we go to train, whether we run, lift weights, hit stuff, do classes ... are we going in with the weight of the world on our shoulders? Are we going in worrying about all those things we cannot change? What do people think of us? Are we dressed right? Do we look funny? What happened at work today?

Or are we commencing training with the thought that this time, this time is for us? This is our time to be strong. This is our time to feel free. This is the time to test us. To let our bodies offload all the physical stress we are carrying and to let our mind be free of the encumbrances of the world.

Our training space IS a sacred place. But we can carry that wherever we are.

Today when you train, before you begin stop and breathe. This is your time. This is about you.

Stop and focus. Are you going to let the worries of the world intrude? Or for one hour today are you going to let yourself focus on nothing more than yur training, your breathing, your body...

For one hour is your heart today going to be free?

Photos courtesy of Red coconut photography! They are awesome! check them out!

Saturday, July 9, 2011


Yesterday i went with the 12wbt girls to a stand your ground session run by Emazon.

Im going to be honest. I am still processing it.

It had some big lessons in it. But i still need to think about them more.

It was about empowerment.
It was about me.
It wasnt just about weight loss, or training or self defence.

It was awesome.

I really think god had put that course in my path so i would be aching for it after my horrid week that was.

I needed to be there.

I will blog more as it opens up to me.

Oh but in the meantime...

It felt good to hit stuff. And hit it hard. Apparently i have a punch on me ;)

Friday, July 8, 2011

Running again

First run post Gold Coast.
It felt so awesome to run again.
Good therapy too!

I ran hard the last km, can ya tell??
Headbands are just not a good look on me!!!
Ready for the next challenge!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The power of running

This has been a tough week for me.

I have been called upon to do things that were not pleasant ... But needed to be done.

I have needed a physical and mental strength that i did not own pre 12wbt.

I have had struggles, and hurts.

I have seen those i love, and those near to me grieve and ache ... Not just over one person... But two.

Today i decided to run.

I was going to run until my body hurt, and my heart no longer did.

And for now at least ... It worked.

What a gift


Thank you xxx

My uncle john passes away quietly Wednesday night.

Thank you for those who gave to help us raise funds to fight the terrible disease that took him too soon from our family.

If your heart leads you to give ... The link is still active.

John, it was a privilege to run for you.

Much love xxx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Retail therapy

There are some things so big that retail therapy just can't fix them.

But it sure beats the comfort eating I used to do.

Aren't they cute!!!

I feel ZUMBA coming on!!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, July 3, 2011

All kinds of awesome - the race

With all of you behind me ... how could I fail?
From the moment I got there I felt as though I had wings.

(I say from when I got there - let us not talk about almost being dropped off 4 k from the start line)

We had the most perfect day for it too...

There is one thing about the Gold Coast marathon series that cannot be put in words. The atmosphere is indescribable. Right from the moment you arrive you feel like you are something BIG. There were over 8000 runners doing the 10k across two waves. Yet you felt like you were amongst friends. It was amazing!

Actually ... I was amongst friends! I have no idea how she did it but Jess from 12wbt found me in amongst that sea of thousands! We lined up for the second wave together ... and nervously talked the wait away. It made such a difference. Helped me really calm my nerves! Thank you so much!

And then ... after the planning, the fundraising, the training, the travel , (the final nervous loo stops!) ... we were off!

And it was all kinds of awesome.

Normally when I run I find the first 3 .. 4, sometimes 5 km hard. I can't get a rhythm. My breathing struggles, my mind tells me to stop. I have to battle till I find that groove.

Not this time.
This race I was surrounded by so many like minded people. My family was backing me. My 12 week family had been tweeting, facebooking, emailing and posting their support all week. I had a message from Mish reminding me that 80% of the race is in my mind. And I was running for all those who had donated ... and for my Uncle John and for Vicki ... and that cancer might one day be beaten.
How could I possibly struggle with all that going for me??

My plan was to go out slow and run the race slower. My plan was to aim for 7min/km pace.
Problem was ... 6min 30 was feeling so good.
I checked my breathing, my heart rate, my body, and my mind ... all good.
It was easy.
I was smiling.
I could maintain it ... so I just focussed on running.

The first km went fast. I was running for Uncle John. He's the reason behind this. He is why I trained so hard and couldn't drop out. And it went fast too - because in the sea of people I was concentrating on not tripping, not falling over and not running into anyone ;)
The first km was easy.

The second km the crowd started to thin. We found our rhythm. I checked my speed again and was still maintaining around 6"30 pace. I thought about slowing down but still felt so good so just kept going. I absorbed the atmosphere ... breathed and looked around. I was running!

Around about the 3rd and 4th kms I had that realisation again. The one where I look around. I see so many people around me running strong, running with purpose, with a rhythm, finding their strides. They look like runners. They are awesome. And then I realise, that I am keeping up with them. I must look like them too. And if they are runners, I must be a runner too. Love that realisation! Wish I could bottle it!

I was thrilled when Sharon from 12wbt caught up with me at this stage. She is an awesome 12wbter - taking on challenges left and right. She inspires me! Thanks for finding me in the crowd! It was awesome to run with you girl!

Km 5 was nearing ... and I was starting to realise I had to do the whole thing again. I had to come back. I knew I would be teary at this stage of the race. Which is why km 5 was for Angela's aunt Vicki.

Just before I ran Mother's Day Classic we found out that Vicki had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is a mum first and foremost, and described by Angela to me as an aunt/sister/friend to her. And I know she is a fighter. Km 5 I was going to fight for her.

When I got tired I would think "If Vicki can fight so can I" and I would feel like my legs had springs again. When we had a small hill to climb I would think that if she can battle on I am not going to let my legs get weaker. And when we turned the corner to come home I thought of the day her family will rejoice when her treatment turns a corner. It was not an easy km for me. But I ran it for her and I am proud to say I ran strong.

And you may not believe me ... but when I came to the end of my km ... I looked up ... and above the buildings of the Gold Coast there was a rainbow. Angela,Vicki, God always sends a rainbow after rain. Hang onto that. Promise me.

Things from here became a bit of a blur in my memories. I was running for 12 weekers who had asked me to run for their aunts, their sisters, their mum's, their dad's, their nans.
I was still shocked to be running strong. I started to believe that I may even beat 65 min for the 10 k (my initial goal was 70min!). I started to push a little harder.

The crowd at Gold Coast is awesome. Just as you get weary a kid comes out for a high 5. Or you turn a corner and find a band. And that is just the 10k!! The marathon must be such a buzz!!!

I ran and thought of my uncle - the boxer when I tired. I reckon I found some of his fight left in me. I thought of my mum, and how she has stood by me every step of this. And of my girl ... I want this to be her normal. I reckon it just might be.

As I neared that final km I was tiring. My pace was slowing on and off to that 7min/km pace. But I wanted to finish strong. I had dedicated my final km to "Coach Rell". Rell has been my "twitter coach" giving me running tips, running programs, inspiration and swift kicks when I needed it. But above all - she calls me a runner. She believes in me. She knows that I can even when I doubt. I am one of RellsRunners and I was going to finish strong for her.

I was counting down every one of the last 500, 400, 300 m of that race.

The crowd were awesome. "Only 500 to go!! You can do it!"

And then as I entered the final straight I heard a "GO KATH YOU CAN DO IT" from the side!
Jess had seen me and was cheering me on. I was SO going to finish hard!

And then it was done. Over the line. The ending happened so fast. I knew I was sooooo close to breaking 65. Depending when I crossed the start line I just might do it.

I was a finisher! I had run hard, strong and done what I set out to do. I believed I honoured my supporters and those I was running for ... and I raised $1100 in the process!

And then the official time came through.
I ran the Gold Coast Marathon series 10km race in 1 hr 4min and 53 sec
UNDER 65!!!

I smashed my 70 min goal!!

Reckon that really makes me a runner!!! Bring on the next challenge!

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All kinds of awesome - the expo

Today is Monday.
Life is slowly getting back to normal

Before the reality of the world kicks in I want to try to take some time to try to bottle the feelings from the weekend.
I had the most awesome time.

Better than I ever imagined.

Gold Coast has been the race my husband has always done and I always wished I could do.
I felt like cinderella all weekend. Like something from a dream.

The surreal feelings began when we hit the coast and went to pick up our race numbers. And then went through the expo.

You see - the expo was where the changes I have made kicked in and I realised what I have actually achieved. I've run a few fun runs this year but this is the major one. The one with a huge fair dinkum race expo. And I belonged.

As long as we have been married I have been tagging around to events with my husband. He is a runner, a cyclist and participates in team triathlons (swimmer he is not)
And as I tagged around the expo always made me feel sad.
So many fit people -so many people loving life! (and maybe so many cool things to buy? I do like to shop!)

But I did not belong. I was fat. ( yes I was - no arguing it). I could only walk. Couldn't run, race, ride or swim. But I so wanted to. Just not where I belonged.

We have been married 11 years. For 11 years I did not belong.

But this year was different.

This year I was a runner!!

There ... in my gear, wandering around ooohing and aahhing and looking for bargains I belonged!

I could share stories of events I had been to and sign up for notice of new ones.
Oh and I shopped. BARGAIN TIME!

If you saw me there I swear you would have seen me beaming!!!

I was part of the fit, healthy crowd!
I was doing it!
I was a runner.

I belonged!!!!

I have done it. My life is changed forever.
I am a runner!!

The medal haul!!

Proud of my little family xxx

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Friday, July 1, 2011


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Full report to come but I'm off for a shower :)

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