Have you ever experienced that sick in your guts feeling just before you go over the edge?
You know the one ... when you are tingly with excitement, but sick in the guts scared too. When you really really want to go over the edge ... but are kinda freaking out too?
That's how I feel about going into the unknown. Whether it is starting something new (like tap) or going into a an unknown social situation (like the finale party), or pushing my limits beyond my comfort zone (like actually running)... and going beyond what I thought possible.
I really really want to. But I am scared.
And in the past the fear would win.
But on Saturday I had a great run. It wasn't a fast run or a long run ... but it felt great to be running. And this got me to thinking.
That fear ... those nerves ... that "should I go - it's not too late to drop out" feeling is the barrier that holds me back into a life of the ordinary.
But if I get the courage to take that first step over the cliff ... if I just go. If I don't let fear hold me back, or my preconceptions of what people think of me ... well there is every chance that that one little step might be the step I need to leading an extraordinary life.
Starting 12wbt was one of those moments. Of course I was scared. I have failed so many times before ... but look where it led me!!
Asking for votes on facebook was scary for me too. Because by publically asking for votes I was admitting before all my friends and family that I have a problem. And that the problem is weight. Now they already KNEW that of course - but it was scarey.
I think this is a big part of my journey this round. I am not letting fear hold me back. Right now it does. But I am taking control.
No longer am I letting fear hold me back. One way or another I am going to that finale. I am trying new things. I am putting my goals out there in front of family and friends. I am being brave. I am taking that first step over and over again.
I am going to live an extraordinary life.
And who knows ... one of these days when I take that step over the cliff ... I might even find out I can fly...
(And don't forget to VOTE! One vote every 24hrs! HERE!
Shut your eyes and JUMP!!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the ride...
You are being very brave Kath, you will be a very confident person when you finish this journey.
Tania
(just voted for ya again)