Today I finally celebrated. And I cried.

I've been relistening to the mindset lessons I have as a podcast from doing Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation.

I'm getting so much more out of them the second time.

What hit me today was when she told us that every success should be rewarded. And I know I haven't done this.

Yes I lost 12kg in the 12wbt. I lost over 12% of my body weight. I was a success. My BP is now in the healthy range. I am no longer morbidly obese. (I hate those words but it WAS my reality)

But because I did not go hard to the end I thought I was a failure.

Yes - I did not meet my standards or the expectations of the program - but I am NOT a failure. And today I celebrated!

Today I went out and bought myself an outfit. Not because I needed clothes for an event. Not because my pants are falling down and I need something to "get me through" so I will buy something inexpensive for now.

I went out and bought something FABULOUS.

I gave myself two rules. #1. No black. I must add colour #2 No old people clothes. I had to look for something to make me look as young as I am feeling.

Today I learnt some lessons. And I cried.

I learnt
That I have to buy new underwear! Baggy undies are not a good look! And store mirrors certainly don't help with that!

That I CAN wear something that is young and funky! Well, I think I can anyway!

That the best thing to do when you go shopping is take in multiple sizes of the same item. And choose the one that looks the best. DO not give the size the power. (Learnt this on 12wbt too!)

That when you try on a size 14 in a non stretchy non old people, tailored style, and learn it fits, you may burst into tears right there in that change room.

That people notice your weight loss. And it's ok to stop at "Thanks" rather than telling them you still have so much to lose.

That I do NOT need to stop for a coffee and a cake on a shopping trip

That in 12 weeks I lost 12kg. But what that really means is going from a (large) size 18 to a size 14. And going from an XL (and wishing it was a little loser) to a medium. Do you have any idea how much that shocked me?

Ihave not enjoyed shopping in years. I used to love it. But before I would shop and grab anything that fit. Today I found something I adore!!! Pics will come - but maybe not till Christmas day. I have a pedicure I've been promising myself to have first!