Saturday, September 17, 2011

Stand your ground 2.

Yesterday I took a powerful step forward in my journey.

Yesterday I shared a space with an amazing group of women, and Emma of Emazon Chronicles.

Yesterday I attended Stand your ground 2.

For those of you reading because you want to know more about Emazon, what happens, and what I thought of it - I am sorry. This is an experience you can't blog. Some things I may write about later, as they unfold, and as they apply to my life at the time ... but I cannot tell you about this. You need to experience it, on your level, as you are ready to at the time.

I can tell you this. It was a whole world apart from what I experienced in Stand your ground 1. Stand your ground 1 came at a time of hurt for me. I had been using this hurt as a way of avoiding taking tough steps and being strong. I was using family illnesses, and life happenings and avoiding doing what needed to be done in my life and my training.

Just under a week before stand your ground 1 life jumped in and forced me to be tough. I was not given a choice. I had to be strong for another, at one of the most tragic times of her life. That night I was forced to be mentally, physically and emotionally tough. It stripped me raw, but showed me who I could be.

Stand your ground one came later that week. It was the first time in months I was strong because I chose to be. Not because life forced me to be.

It was overwhelming. It stripped me raw.

This photo was taken that day. In it, I see a whole world of hurt unleashed. It is a photo that scares me - but symbolises that day for me. I was releasing the hurt, and deciding, no matter what life threw at me I was strong, and I was taking control.

It was when I began to Stand my ground.

Yesterday no photos were taken during the group session.
Just the one at the end.
And although no photos were taken, I don't think you would have seen that look on my face yesterday.

Yesterday I realised how far my journey has come in a few short months.
I know the steps I have been taking are the right ones.
I know that the way I perceive myself, and the way I measure my success have changed forever.
I am not, and never will be measured by a number.

Yesterday I felt strong.
I felt focussed.
I was working on my terms, in my time.
Emma had the lessons, but my learning ... it was up to me.

If a photo was taken yesterday I feel it would have shown REAL strength. Focus. Determination. Pride. And knowing.
Knowing that this is my path, and it is as it should be.

Yesterday was a gift.
I came home with bruises on my knuckles, and my heart singing.

Last night ... last night my body told me to sleep ... and I did. Solidly and soundly.
My mind needed time to solidify all I had learned, and confirmed yesterday.

Today - today I know longer feel like singing and dancing.
Today I woke with a peace. I woke feeling grounded. I woke feeling strong.
I woke feeling I know my way forward, and I am not going back.

Emma - you helped me realise a gift.
Thank you.


  1. Well done. Sounds like a wonderful part of your journey.

    I am off to google more info about her. Glad to hear it had such
    an impact. I love moments in life like this. Love to hear about the transformation inside as they are the most important.