Good bye brain. It's time to train ...

What is it in training that I had back then ... that I am missing now.

Why is it that a few short months ago I couldn't wait to train ... and now I've hit struggle street?

Why is my heart and mind not in it?

And what do I need to do to get that fight back?

I've been doing some thinking. Actually, I haven't stopped thinking since the "Stand your Ground" workshop.

There is something about that girl that gets in my head and keeps digging away at me until I take time to really pull it apart and find what it means to me.

Do you know what I've come to realise??

I've let me stinking brain get in the way of doing what I love.

That's it. Simple.

Instead of training, I've thought about training. I've thought about why I can't. Why I'm busy. Why other stuff needs to happen first.

I've thought about why my training isn't good enough. That I should be doing more. That my technique isn't strong enough. My core is too weak. That others are doing more than me.

I've thought about my running. That I should be doing it without music. Going faster. Doing more hills. Running further.

I've thought that I should be doing more weights. Doing more classes. Doing less classes. Doing more body weight work. Attending more Brisbane events. Starting events close to home.

I've thought and thought and compared until it wasn't fun anymore.

Ask anyone. Ask my mum. Ask my husband. I'm an overthinker from way back. I will take a problem and have to talk it over a million times, first in my head, and then with those around until I've done that problem to death.

Instead I need to not think. Just do.

Michelle calls this analysis by paralysis. How true is this. All this time worrying when should have been training.

Emma from Emazon says it is letting yourself be ruled by your brain, not your mind. By your blue self with all the hurts and worries of the world, instead of your heart, soul, mind ... your true red self.

So I'm over the thinking. I know what I have to do. I have to train.

Six days a week I train. And one day a week I MUST rest. My body needs that too.

This time - I am training, not thinking. If it isn't perfect, if I change things around, if it is more or less than someone else ... I train. It doesn't matter. Train. Find what my heart wants to do. Get into that sacred space. And train.

Training gets results. Thinking ... bah ... thinking causes trouble.

The line has been drawn.

I am training. I am going to do the things I love - the things that make me feel free.

I know they won't be perfect. I don't really care. I want to feel strong and I will.

Training to be free.