Shades of grey....

This is how I've been feeling lately. Like the colour has faded a little. I've been feeling blah and all shades of grey.


I really don't think winter has been helping.
It is so cold. And dark so early. My favourite time to run is when my hubby gets home from work in the evening ... but now it is dark before he gets here.
And as a nurse who mainly works mornings I am leaving for work in the dark.
I miss the sun.

I sort of feel like I have post round one blues.
I hit such heights ... and felt so great.

Since then I have lost my focus a bit.
I've put some weight back on.
Maybe I am afraid to work as hard as I have to to meet some of my goals.
Maybe it is winter.
Maybe it is self sabotaging.
Maybe it is some of the "crud" stuff going on around me at the moment.

It really doesn't matter why.
What matters is the person I want to be ... and this isn't her.

I don't want to be eating the wrong stuff.
I don't want to be feeling bad for missing my workouts.
I just don't like who I am this moment in time.

So whatever the weather - whatever the reason - things are changing.

This week I am training just for the joy.
I am not worrying about where we are on the program or what I should be doing.
This week I am just getting my joy back.
I am running - not with any goal in mind - but just to be running again.
I am trying to get to some group activities just for the joy of being part of the team.
I am going to go to the classes I love - and not worry about the calorie burn - but just about having fun.

Not long ago when I trained I always trained with the biggest smile on my face - because I was so happy I COULD train.
That is my goal.
I'm going to rediscover the fun.
And I bet in doing so I get results.

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