Learning to STAND again - but on my own two feet this time

As we speak in Brisbane the STAND convention with Emazon is kicking off.
Those who know me, know how much I respect this woman - and by any account you would think I would be there. I mean the atmosphere will be electric and there is so much to learn.

But every time I went to book - it never felt right.

And today - finally I got clarity. I know why.

This time. Once and for all I need to STAND- but I need to STAND on my own.
I need to trust in my body, my wisdom, my spirit, my strength.
I need to learn my lessons on my own.

Right now is not the time for a teacher. One day that will come again.

Right now is the time to trust ME enough.
To remove my safety nets.

And to let myself fly.

I thought I would be sad about not attending the convention.

But I feel free.

This week I have left my PT.
I am leaving my gym.
I am not attending STAND.

But in no way does this mean I am giving up on me.

Instead. I am believing in me.

I am removing the safety nets, and for this period at least I am trusting me to do what I need to to STAND.

Enjoy this weekend girls - embrace it.

I will be with you. My red wings are spread wide.

Laying it on the line

This is me now.

Tired. Sleep deprived (well that is normal - I have an 8mth old!) Unfit. And wait for it ... 30kg over my pre preg weight.

Yes.

I ate my way through all day morning sickness - morning sickness till the day I gave birth.

I ate my way through the early days.

And now I eat if I'm happy, tired, cranky , frustrated - not to mention all those mummy and baby coffee shop catch ups!

But the biggest thing is I don't feel like me and I don't feel happy.

I feel trapped and tired ... the two things I know that taking  control of my life will fix.

And so I am . I'm saying it out loud cause I've pretended to long things are ok.

And they aren't.

It's time I felt like me again.

I'm signing up for rd 2 of 12wbt. Not because I believe it is the be all and end all and only way I can lose weight.

But because it is an excellent tool for a time poor me.

My menus and workouts are there and waiting. And even better this round, I can swap things around on the menu and it will personalise my shopping list just for me!

See me hanging around the learn to run program. That 5k is my biggest goal this round!

And the mums and bubs forum of course.

In the meantime , I am making time for me, eating better, and walking to build up some strength.

And fighterbabe loves our walks too xx

Bless xx

The courage to start ... again.

Fighter babe is 8 months!
She is a living breathing gorgeous miracle!

It's pretty much safe to say that we adore her! She is very very loved.

What I do not love is how I am feeling.
Pregnancy and early motherhood meant I did not put myself first, second or third in life.
I have gone back to barely exercising and eating crap.

And there are no excuses.

I've put on weight. Lots of weight.
I couldn't run if I tried.
My health , my life, everything feels out of wack.

And for many months starting again has felt too hard.

But you want to know something ...

more and more each day I know I am ready to feel alive again.

It will be harder. Working around a baby is tough. Working around a baby and Miss 7 is tougher.
And I don't have the benefit of a fitness base to help me.

It will take longer.

But it will be done.

It takes courage to start. And it definitely takes courage to start again.

Today I am starting at the beginning. Preseason tasks.
 What are my excuses. There are a lot.

But you know why I know I have the courage to do this again??
Because in the shocking news from Boston today - my heart aches for them because even now - I feel part of that running community.
I remember the ultimate HIGH from finishing a race. I remember the comradeship I felt along the course.

I hear stories today about how runners who were safe from the explosion ran INTO the bomb zone to help others.
I hear stories of how runners ran to the nearest red cross to give blood.

If they can have courage to go on when an event many of them have dreamt all their lives of running is attacked ... well I can say no to the cake and start again.

My prayers are with Boston. Have courage my friends.

Decisions decisions

I find myself wanting to blog again.

But I have changed.

In many ways I am still the same.

I am back with weight a plenty to lose :( But I know I will do it.

But in other ways I am so different.

I want to blog about more than weight loss and exercise though.

To start a new blog ... or to change streams here mid blog??

Decisions decisions ...

shh (I'm back - but don't tell!)

Shhh!!!

I'm back blogging.

I needed the break bigtime.

Problem is - it was too long a break from everything that makes me strong and healthy and me.

So I am back.

I love the act of blogging.
Of how it encourages me to be more and do more.

But this time - it is not to promote any program or my success in it - it is for me.

I still love Mish and the 12wbt ... but it is time to do it my way.

So here I am.

Back.

I want to feel that fire. That fight. That desire to be all I can be.

Right now - how I feel makes me sad and I will not be there any longer.

Today is the day I step forward.

Today is the day I choose life when I choose what I do, what I eat , how I live.

Today is the day I realise I need to find time for me to sit in peace. And quiet.
No people no phones no distractions.

I'm back.

If you want to continue to follow my journey - here it is <3

Thank you.

No facebook shoutouts. No tweets. Just my heart here on the page.

It's nice to see you again

xxx

All I want for Christmas ... (part 1)

Things are getting busy around here right now.

It's dance concert time (HELP!) :)
It's almost speech day. Christmas Carol's are playing in the stores. The trees are up in the shopping centres. No matter how much I try to deny it, Christmas is coming, and fast!

Which leads to the subject of presents. And I'm almost done there :) Thankfully.

I've also started to drop some pretty serious hints as to what I want for Christmas too.

There is nothing better than a gift that supports the lifestyle changes I have made, and this is one I really really want! (Dear Husband  - are you listening)

I love the chance to read about real women running. I love the training plans. (and can I tell you I even love reading the advertisements! There are some pretty cool things out there in the world of running and more than one are ending up on my Christmas list!) The run downs of recently held fuun runs are awesome too in helping me to set my goals! City 2 surf - you are on my wish list!

And no trashy celebrity gossip in sight!

Women's Running have allowed me the chance to share this magazing with one of you too!

For a chance to win the Nov/Dec 2012 edition of Women's Running Australia enter below!

(Disclaimer: Women's Running Australia have given me two copies of Women's Running Australia - one to review and one to give away. The opinions above are my own and I received no payment for this review.  I already read and love this magazine - the provision of product had no influence on my opinion at all :) )

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Organise and Diarise. Or should it be PRIORITISE?!

By George!

By George I think she's GOT IT!




There is wisdom in how Michelle Bridges has set up the 12wbt.

See those preseason tasks??
They aren't just there to fill time so she can get maximum numbers each round.

They aren't just there for fun - or so she can ask "But did you DO the preseason tasks" when you are struggling.

They are there - because they are something you need to do.

Even after multiple rounds - there is wisdom and learning in them.
Each round you grow. Each round your goals and priorities and circumstances change.

And if you do the tasks - as in REALLY do them properly - there is gold within.

PRESEASON TASK #6 - Organise and Diarise.
Seriously. I almost skipped it.

I mean let's be honest. I have 7 year old. A dance obsessed 7 year old. It's concert time! And a 13 week old fighterbabe! Organising my life is next to impossible right now! If it's going to happen - it just has to be flexible and fit in where it can.

And then I realised.

That method hasn't exactly seen me getting great results lately.

Yep - leaving things to chance and planning to be flexible IS NOT WORKING. It's not working - because like mothers the world over I tend to put everything else first - the house, the kids, the husband ... and try to "fit" my fitness in around it all.

And it doesn't work

So here I am DOING this task. Not only organising and diarising BUT PRIORITISING!
Putting my fitness on the must do list.|
Putting value on my health.

Because as much as I value my roles as wife and mother, there is more to me than that.

If you are a mum, or just a busy person, I'd love to hear how you prioritise your fitness in a busy world. Leave me a note in the comments xx